


No Mind Tricks Kevin

by ajay_lotte



Series: The Yellow Car Initiative [14]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Avengers Merchandise, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Gen, Pre-Slash, Secret Santa, bop it - Freeform, in some places, yellow car game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28462950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajay_lotte/pseuds/ajay_lotte
Summary: In which Matt doesn't give Kilgrave as a Christmas present, has a Team Red Christmas Eve, and is forced into the Avengers Secret Santa.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Matt Murdock, Frank Castle & Matt Murdock, James "Bucky" Barnes & Matt Mudock, Karen Page/Claire Temple, Matt Murdock & Avengers Team, Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Karen Page, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Series: The Yellow Car Initiative [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883668
Comments: 8
Kudos: 120





	No Mind Tricks Kevin

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii, apologies in advance for this kinda sappy, super late, extra long, Christmas special!  
> Marvel owns all these characters and stuff, this is just a fanfiction for my own amusement because I suck, I'm procrastinating, and was in a Christmassy mood on Christmas  
> Yes it's taken this long to write, I'm ashamed too :p  
> Warnings: there's some swearing, a lot of happiness  
> Sooo, yeah, I can't bring myself to regret writing this, hope you've all had a great Christmas- and wishing you a Happy New Year from Wade- Lotte :)

“Something’s wrong with Matt.” Karen leans in and whispers to Foggy, keeping her eyes trained on the man in question through the open door to his office. The pair stopped for lunch half an hour ago, but when Foggy knocked to ask Matt, the man didn’t even look up.

Foggy hums, looking at his best friend too. “He got some letters in the post this morning.” Foggy remembers Karen being out doing some investigative work whilst this was all taking place. “One resulted in him throwing a chair across the room.”

“That explains the broken bookshelf.” She comments, and Foggy doesn’t deem that conclusion worthy of his confirmation. That would just diminish his partner’s brilliant skills.

He then points at the poster of Spider Man in the main office that wasn’t there before. “Throwing the chair didn’t help, so Matt decided it would be more beneficial to phone Clint.” Karen perks up at the mention of the name. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I learnt nothing. Clint remains an enigma asides from the fact he seemed to result in a fist sized whole in the wall.

“I’m obviously not against heroes, and I know neither you nor Matt are, but are you sure a Spider Man poster is a good look for the office. I mean… such an advertisement might cause doubts around possible clientele.”

Foggy nods. “It’s not a secret that I’m a fan of the Avengers, but I completely agree. It’s not perfect for business. But Matt took a five-minute gap in his frustration to feel guilty for damaging the office, so when I convinced him to take a walk, he came back with a temporary solution to mask the damage until we get it repaired.”

“So Matt thought getting a Spider Man poster was a good idea?”

“No, Matt thought getting an old boxing poster would be a good idea.” Foggy says, and Karen looks at the poster again and back to Foggy. “Karen, he’s not listening to us now, I doubt he was examining heart beats when buying a two-dollar poster.” She hums. “But yeah, to answer your initial statement, something is wrong with Matt.”

One shared look later, the two get to their feet and walk over to Matthew Murdock’s office. Foggy knocks on the door. “Matt.” Karen says. No response. “Matt.”

“Matt!” Foggy yells and slams the door so it hits the wall. The normally well composed lawyer leaps a mile. “Hey Murdock, welcome back to the land of the living.” Matt cocks his head to the side and locates his law partner.

“Hey Foggy, I’m sorry about the bookshelf.” Foggy narrows his eyes at his partner.

“You only just noticed, didn’t you?”

“No.” Matt answers too quickly. “Is Karen here?”

“Yup.” Karen pops the ‘p’, and Matt tilts his head to the other side, as if recalibrating the room. Foggy wonders if to Matt it seems like his super senses are working in slow motion, because that’s kind of what it looks like from the outside. Matt doesn’t bother with a greeting, just groans again, and Karen laughs. Matt looks up to give her a glare, but the effect is lost due to the bigger miss of direction than usual. “Sorry, but Matt, at least it’s not something really serious that’s wrong.”

“This is really serious Karen.” His voice is so blunt, so Daredevilly that it gives Karen no room to argue. She rolls her eyes, for Foggy’s benefit.

“Personal then.” Karen’s just glad that Matt’s not busy trying to hide some really heart-wrenching part of his tragic back story he’s feeling angry about. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Aunt May put me in for the Avengers Secret Santa.” He grumbles, understandable only by Foggy who is fluent in Matt-Mumble. He helpfully translates for Karen, who snorts. “Karen it’s not funny.”

“I’m sure Aunt May is only looking out for your best interests.” Foggy says, and Matt groans again.

“Matt just take it. But how did you find out about it today?” Karen asks.

“Because Aunt May forced Peter to put my name in the Iron Man helmet, but then he refused to pass it on to me in fear of being beaten to death in the back of an alley.” Karen looks at Foggy concerned. “Not by me, by Jessica, because I had her for Secret Santa last year.”

“What happened in Secret Santa last year?” Karen asks, and Matt tilts his head down towards his desk.

“Ask Frank.” Matt brushes over it. “So Nat drew the name for me, who gave it to Thor because last time I was fighting with the Avengers I may have been acting slightly impulsively, and used Mjolnir on sand people when he dropped it, and then he gave it to Loki, who couldn’t be bothered to give it to me himself so gave it to Coulson, who printed it in Braille, who gave it to Peter who fled to San Francisco to visit Cassie Lang, but not after ditching it through Jess’s letter box, who called an emergency Defender meeting without me where they unanimously decided to give it to Brett to send here.”

It takes Karen a second to work through the unload of information. “And you know this how?”

“Everyone added on a small note to the name at the top.” At the remembrance of the task at hand, Matt melts into his seat so that he and the office chair are one.

Foggy laughs. “Matt, I’m basically a professional at Secret Santa.”

“You can help me?” Aww, Karen thinks, cute.

“Sure. Who’ve you got?”

“Bucky.”

“Nope. You’re on your own there, Buddy.” Matt’s face drops.

“Foggy!” Karen gasps. “That was cruel. It’s Christmas!” Foggy glares at Karen.

“Come on Kare, he got frickin’ Bucky Barnes. I bet not even Bucky knows what he wants for Christmas.” Matt stands to his feet and glares at Foggy, his aim slightly better this time though granted, not by much. “Matt?” Foggy asks.

“I’m going to get Bucky the best Christmas present- for under twenty bucks- because Murdocks never quit.”

“If you manage to get Bucky a Secret Santa that he actually, genuinely, loves, I will forever bow down to you as the Secret Santa king.” Foggy says. “Now have you actually got any work done today? The Christmas season is always busy.”

“We’re defence lawyers Foggy, we don’t deal with divorces.” He grabs his cane, and leaves the office leaving his friends dumbfounded.

“Well, that was the cold hard truth of reality.” Karen says, and Foggy hums. “You both had a deforce settlement last week, right?”

“Yeah… but that was different.” Foggy says. “The husband was in an abusive relationship, worthy of Spiderman’s attention.” He hums, and Karen quirks an eyebrow. “Just thinking that the Spiderman poster could be more fitting than previously thought.”

Instead of replying to that comment, Karen says: “I’m gonna set up another GoFundMe.” Karen says, points to her laptop, and bows her head walking forward. The pair work in silence for about half an hour, Foggy working hard on research for a case, and Karen doing whatever she does on her computer in the other room. Eventually the blonde woman looks up from her screen and yells through to Foggy. “Do you think Matt’s going to come back with lunch?”

“I wouldn’t expect Matt to come back with a present.” He admits. “Do you think Matt will still want to come to my family’s Christmas?” Karen abandons her work completely and gives Foggy a confused smile.

“He’s gone to yours for Christmas every year since you met him. Why wouldn’t he want to?”

“Not every year.” Foggy corrects.

“Oh, Foggy… I…”

“No! Not then. Believe it or not, he still came before and after the whole death thing. First year college we’d only known each other a couple of months. Only things I knew about Matt Murdock was that he was studying law and blind.” Karen smiles at the remembering smile on Foggy’s face. “I’d have invited him back if I’d have known he had nowhere to go. My mum would’ve shanked me if I didn’t.”

Karen chuckles. “No, probably best you didn’t. He’d of fled like a deer in headlights. But seriously, Matt loves you and your family. Course he won’t assume he’s invited, you’ll have to ask him. If you don’t he’ll mope for about five years.”

“True.” Foggy sighs. “I’ve told him, even if we’re at each other’s throats again, he’s always invited to Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter… anything. We’re family. I just… wonder if he’d rather go to a Christmas with the other Avengers.” Karen quirks her inquisitive eyebrow. Foggy isn’t like Matt… he’ll say what he’s thinking without a verbal court style cross examination. “Well… they’re a family of people…”

“Like Matt.” Karen finishes, and Foggy sighs, bowing his head. “Foggy, you may not go out saving the world one criminal at a time like Matt, but you and Matt are family, and I don’t think he’d want to change that for the world. Ok?” So Foggy agrees, more to shut Karen up than anything, only for Matt to storm into the room at that moment, closely followed by a man Foggy and Karen don’t recognise. “Who’s this?” Foggy asks.

“Kevin.”

Kevin looks outraged. “My name is Kilgrave.”

“Hey!” Matt bangs his cane against the floor. “No mind tricks Kevin.” Karen and Foggy exchange glances.

“Matt…” Karen starts warily, “he isn’t your present for Bucky, is he?”

Matt looks outwardly offended, and then angry, and then sad, and then outright confused. “That would be completely insensitive Karen. And Kevin, as much as he acts otherwise, is a person. I cannot give him as a present.”

Kevin tucks his hands in his pocket. “Exactly.” He says.

“That said, I am going to hand him over to Jessica Jones.”

“No, I don’t think you are.” Kevin says, or Kilgrave, depending on who Foggy listens to. “You’re going to let me walk out of here, thinking that I was a potential client, and never go looking for me again.” To Foggy, that seems reasonable.

Matt bangs his cane against the floor again. “What did I say about the mind tricks?” Kevin looks at Matt incredulously.

“Why doesn’t this work on you? I’ve mind controlled other blind individuals; I know it’s not that.” Matt looks offended.

“You were going to blame my resistance on my blindness. I feel like that’s a bit discriminatory.”

“Well,” Kilgrave elongates the word, giving a smirk, “I had to account it as a variable. So what is it? Are you enhanced like Jessica? Luke?” Matt’s expression remains stoic. “Do you even know who they are? Yes… you must do. Mr Nelson here is a respectable layer, worked in a firm which supported vigilantes. So what’s this? A firm for superheroes?” Kilgrave points at the Superman points at the wall. “Hogarth never liked superheroes.”

“Mr Kilgrave,” Foggy starts.

“Shut it.” He orders, and Foggy stops talking.

“Karen can you call Jessica. Kevin, how long is your hair.”

That seems to throw Kevin. “Quite short, why?”

“Never mind. I need someone with long dark hair.”

Karen snorts. “Matt, did you get your Secret Santa a hat?” Matt blushes. “Of course not.” Jessica answers the phone.

“What Karen? I’m working.”

“Matt’s bought someone to the office. Says his name is Kevin. Wants to hand jurisdiction of him over to you.”

“Hey Jess!” Matt exclaims happily. “I told you I wasn’t susceptible. You owe me ten bucks.”

“Fine. I’ll be there in ten. Keep him entertained. Why couldn’t the sucker stay dead?”

“It’s a Christmas miracle!” Kevin exclaims, and the line goes dead.

That night, Daredevil goes out on patrol early, hoping to get some inspiration of what to get for Bucky. He stops a couple of criminals, wondering about new shoes, or a gun, or maybe just some candy. But all options seem either too boring, generic, or pricy. “What you thinking ‘bout Red?” A voice asks from a couple of apartment building rooves over. “You didn’t even notice I was here. Gonna come on up?” Matt makes it up ten stories and across seven rooves in under three minutes.

“Castle.”

“Red.” The red cladded vigilante takes a seat next to the Punisher. “Could see you through my sniper. I’m waiting for a man named Robert Gillian.”

“Who’s he?” Red asks, remaining tense next to Frank.

Frank doesn’t dare move to look at the other vigilante no matter how much he wants to. “Human trafficker. Rapist. The works. Likes watching porn of little kids, too, as shown by his credit statement.” Red cocks his head. “Admittedly decoding the statement involved some of Karen’s digging.”

“Of course.” He replies. “Are you going to kill him?”

“’Course not. It’s nearly Christmas. I’m not sure your Catholic ass would forgive me if I murdered on your favourite holiday.” Matt hums.

Frank raises an eyebrow. “What, it’s not?”

“Wondering why you’d care about what I think?” Frank doesn’t know what to say to that. Matt opens his Tardis suit pockets. “I got you a gift, Frank.” Matt takes out a badly birthday paper gift with a card taped onto it. Frank takes the held out item.

“And you’ve just been carrying this around with you?” Red opens his mouth to answer. “I’m kidding Red, here.” Frank moves away from his gun and pulls out a gift from his jacket pocket. “Had a feeling I’d see you tonight.”

“Yellow car.” Matt hits Frank, in avoidance to the statement. The man huffs an amused laugh and hits him back.

“At your ten o’clock.” Red’s lips tug up into a slight smile, and Frank smiles at the sight of it, even though the expression doesn’t exactly suit the mask. Frank opens the card first, and the first thing he notices is that the card is homemade- an abstract (very abstract) one line drawing of his Punisher skull wearing a Christmas Santa hat. The hat is coloured in pink too, with the colour bleeding over the edge of all of the lines. He opens the card. It’s handwritten.

Next to him, the Devil shifts slightly.

“Your writing’s beautiful, Red.” Last year Frank was planning a drug ring bust to do with Red whilst said man wrote his Christmas cards, and Red typed everyone one of them except Nelson’s, and Frank didn’t fail to notice how hard he tried to make it perfect. Thinking about it makes Frank’s heart beat faster, and he’s fully aware of this as he thinks how much Red is trusting him right now, and the amount of time and effort he spent putting into the card. “Thank you.”

Red nods sharply, takes off his gloves, and rips open the paper to his present. Frank realises it was probably a waste of time, seeing as the paper does nothing to the Devil’s senses and he can’t appreciate the wrapping anyway, but it would have been weird to not wrap it. It seems to be the right thing though, because he’s grinning as he rubs his fingers against the glossy box. “I can’t read it.” He says, but is still smiling.

“Open it.” Matt tears the hexagonal box open, and pulls out the box, and his entire face- that Frank can see- lights up. “I take it that you like it.”

“Frank, I love it.” Red runs his fingers over the sides. “I’ve always wanted a Rubik’s cube. Frank this is perfect. Thank you.” It had taken a while, but Frank had eventually found somewhere selling braille Rubik’s cubes. He remembered watching the man give Danny’s his best shot, but it’s fair to say he was fucking pissed off after two hours of muddled instructions. Least to say everyone else was fed up of trying to explain how the colours were moving.

Frank opens his. It’s a travel coffee mug.

With a yellow car on it.

Frank shakes his head and huffs a laugh. “Thanks Red, you know I love my coffee.” Red beams. Frank turns the mug around in his hand on the back, hand scribed and printed on the back are the words: ‘Frank, may I call you Frank?’. “You’re a sappy son of a bitch, ain’t ya Red?”

“You’re one bad day away from being me, Frank.” He says, and waves the Rubik’s cube around to prove his point.

Frank grunts. “I’m way past it. Thank you for the gift. I love it. Now what got you in a mood before you came up here?”

“My secret Santa.”

“After last year?!” Frank exclaims. “Holy fucking shut. Bet you got Bucky Barnes too.”

“How’d you know?”

“You’ve got the worst luck, Red.”

“Hey! It’s not as bad as Clint’s.” He whines. Like a child. Frank snorts.

“If I knew who Clint was, I may be more inclined to believe you. What day are you switching gifts on?”

“Christmas Eve.”

“Ages.” All of one day. “But not long enough to spend your free time fighting criminals. Go get that man a present, Red, before it’s too late.” Matt salutes the ex-marine, and backflips off the edge of the building. Matt laughs at the rocketing of Frank’s heartbeat. “Laugh why don’t you?” Frank mutters, and the Devil’s laugh can only be heard louder from below.

Red continues his night, and he’s mid interrogation when a familiar cell producing body is strutting down the alley towards him. He cocks his head to the side, and the man in his grasp stops talking. Matt punches him. “Did I say you could stop?”

“Red, it’s Christmas!” Wade sings, and Red honestly tries his best not to be turned on by the idiot assassin and ridiculousness of the situation. “Don’t go so hard on him.”

Red growls. “Crime rates are higher at Christmas; cops care less, they just wanna go home to their families.”

“Don’t you?” The gang member asks and Daredevil punches him without hesitation. “Sorry.”

“A date, Marvin. I need a date.”

“I could give you one.” Wade singsongs, but Red ignores the suggestion, continuing to try to find Marvin’s eyes with his senses. It’s not working too well. Yet he scares the man anyways.

“It’s not even til January!” Matt assumes it was the Christmas question that makes Marvin more squeamish. “We’re just preparing early to get a holiday between Christmas and New Years.”

Matt growls. “Oooh, Marvin, you’re making him angry.” Wade sings. “If you wanna go back home to your parents this Christmas, you better tell the Devil the exact date.”

“I don’t know it.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Daredevil holds out his hand and Wade puts his gun in it. Red aims the gun, Marvin’s heartrate rockets, and Red shoots the wall next to his face.

“Come on Marvin, we wanna go home as much as you do. I’m sure Julie wouldn’t be very happy if she found out you didn’t actually work at a pharmaceutical company.” Red continues to pretend Wade being ever so slightly murderous and completely invasive with his knowledge isn’t doing it for him. He also remembers. “Marvin it’s Team Red’s Christmas, we want to go and meet up with the Spiderling, and eat mince pies on someone’s rooftop. Now give him the date.”

“I’m not scared of you.” Marvin says, and Deadpool gasps. Red does that thing where he rolls his eyes but moves his head so people understand he’s rolling his eyes. “Well… you’ll just kill me, like I’ll be killed if I give you the date.”

Daredevil smirks. “So you’re scared of what I’m going to do to you.”

“Red, it’s Christmas.” Wade reminds him. Daredevil growls. Marvin spits out the date, time, and location without hesitation and runs when Daredevil lets him go. “Now he’s just going to go back and get the date changed.

“He won’t.” Daredevil says confidently as he takes out his billy clubs, cocks his head to the side in deep concentration, and throws one so it hits Marvin on the head before retracting it back. He’s unconscious. “He probably won’t even remember this conversation.”

“Oh?” Wade asks, and Daredevil beams, climbing up a drainpipe to the roof in an instant.

“I’m quite the expert on head injuries, Pool.” Wade whistles in admiration, and follows the Devil up to the roof. It doesn’t take long to bump into Peter.

“Hey, insect.” Wade says. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah!” Peter says, and scratches the back of his neck. “Fancy seeing you here. And a spider is an arachnid.”

“Why else do you think everyone calls you ‘the insect’?” Red asks, and Wade laughs.

“Hey, it’s only the Defenders that call me that! And Wade and Frank. Everyone else is actually quite nice about Spider Man.”

Wade laughs again, and Daredevil smirks. “He’s a public menace!” Red exclaims, mirroring J. Jonah Jameson’s voice perfectly.

“Ok, apart from him. And maybe Claire… I don’t think she likes me.”

“She loves you.” Red says, and pulls presents out of his pockets. Peter bounces over and takes his readily.

“I love the paper!” Peter exclaims, and Wade agrees. Red beams, unaware of the combination of ‘Hooray!’s ‘Happy Birthday!’s and ‘Have A Great Day’s typed all over it. “Here, I got presents too!”

“And me!” The three sit on the roof, and Wade takes off his Hello Kitty backpack. “I have Christmas Crackers! And food! And a fake tree!” It takes Wade less than ten seconds to turn the lights on the tree and hit both vigilantes on the head with his crackers.

It begins to snow as they pull the crackers, wear the crowns, tell the jokes, and open their presents. Peter tears open his from Wade’s and gasps. “Oh my god, I love them!” Matt can sense him holding out something soft… clothes- they’re quite long. Peter unfolds them into trousers. “Red, they’re the softest pyjama pants, pink with Hello Kitty all over them. Feel how comfy they are!” Matt does as instructed, and the insect’s right. “See!” Wade gets Red pyjama pants just as incredibly soft. “They’re so cool! Double D, they’re Deadpool merch, with his logo all over it!”

“Deadpool merch exists?”

“Yeah,” Wade shrugs, “the author of the fanfic decided there’s canon superman merch within the dc cinematic universe, so there’s no reason why merch shouldn’t exist within this very late Christmas special.”

Red cocks his head to the side. “What?”

“Well, here it’s… now officially Christmas Eve day, but it’s actually the twenty-ninth. And it probably won’t even be published by… maybe New Years. Which is great, because instead of writing a fluffy, pain-and-comfort, firework-and-kiss piece I won’t even get to star in, they might remember that Dr Strange is still gonna turn up needing your help at some point, or the fact that they have to bring back the prophecies so that eventually everything’ll go back to normal.”

“Will I get to lose the serum?” Red asks, hopeful.

“Double D, don’t encourage the hallucinations!” Red mutters something about knowing how mental health works.

Wade ignores Peter and shrugs. “I know the truth, Double D; doesn’t mean I can predict the future. Even Strangey-boy, can’t do that. Remember how many different versions of that war I wasn’t invited to he saw!”

“I wasn’t invited either.” Red complains, folding his arms and Peter stares at the two dumbfounded.

“You’re a lawyer with a secret identity!” He points at Red, and then dramatically turns to Wade. “And you’re with the x-men! The Avengers’ worst enemy!” Wade mumbles something about both being in eighteens and Netflix rights, but the other vigilantes decide to ignore that. Red cocks his head to the side. “Crime?” Peter asks. And in response to the confirmation nod, the three vigilantes race over to the scene, mince pies in hand, and presents tucked in pockets.

It’s as Red’s beating up the criminal that he knows exactly what to get Bucky. “Spider Man, I’ve got to go! Don’t let Wade kill her.” And he goes, listening to Peter’s excitement at being left responsible in Hell’s Kitchen by the Devil. Wade tells him to stop fangirling. It doesn’t help. Red refocuses on nearer surroundings as he approaches his flat and changes into Matt Murdock clothes, including the new pyjama pants from Pool. Matt then remembers it’s only three in the morning and nowhere will be open. Sighing, he collapses onto his sofa intending to stay awake and wait until morning.

Matt does not stay awake until morning.

His alarm clock is going off in his bedroom, and quite frankly, Matt doesn’t want to get up and turn it off. He doesn’t have to go to work today. It’s Christmas Eve. Foggy’s with Marci, Karen’s with Claire, he can stay here and sleep.

Matt goes back to sleep.

Knocking at his door wakes him up. His alarm clock is still going off. With a grunt, he gets up and walks to answer his door. “Hello?” He asks.

“Yo Redthew.”

“What?”

Wade steps into the apartment. “Has my little Redthew not had his morning coffee?” Red scowls. Wade walks through to the roof access and shouts up the stairs: “Peter, it’s safe! Come on in!” He calls, and Matt glares at Wade, who returns to the kitchen to make coffee. “What?! I never know what to expect behind your door- maybe something… kinky.” Matt cocks his head to the side. “Did you not notice little Peter on the roof? Redthew, are you ok? And you look Hot in those pyjamas.” Matt just grumbles something and collapses back onto the couch. At some point his alarm stops ringing, and then Peter turns up, wearing the Hello Kitty pyjamas and a guilty expression as he holds the broken alarm clock in his hands.

“Sorry Double D. Hey, where did you go last night?!”

“Nowhere.” He grumbles, and the room goes silent for a minute. “What?”

“We’re communicating with facial expressions only.” Wade says. “Give us a minute, it’s harder than you think.”

“You should be there when I try it with Foggy.” But as requested, Matt gives them a minute. “Water’s boiled.” He announces, cutting off the limited development in the nonverbal conversation.

“Ooh!” Wade exclaims and jumps back over to the kitchen to make the coffee, which he brings back over to Red. Matt takes a sip. Then drinks the whole cup without having to pretend that it’s nice. This is the best coffee he’s ever had. “So, what are the plans for today?”

“Plans?”

“Aunt May’s having brunch with her yoga group.” Peter says. “And Wade is free whenever- he has no life.”

“Not true!” Wade exclaims. “Slightly true. But little Spidey theorised you might be lonely until tonight, when you get to join the Avengers and abandon me. So we can spend the day together.”

“I need to get my Secret Santa.” Red jumps up, and cocks his head to the side. He straightens the sunglasses on his face, and heads to the door, grabbing his jacket and cane on the way out. Wade and Peter race after him. Peter, being the responsible one out of the three of them, locks the door and looks after the key.

“Hey Red?” Peter asks, and Matt hums letting the kid jog a little to catch up in pace beside him and Wade. “Do you ever worry about people figuring out who we are when we walk like this together?” None of the three could deny that they walk like this together in the streets at night.

“I worry about people figuring out who we are when you call my name that loud when I’m dressed as a lawyer.”

Peter frowns, and turns to face Matt. “You’re not dressed as a lawyer. You’re a lawyer dressed in Deadpool pyjamas.”

Matt just shrugs. “I wouldn’t know what that looks like.” Peter opens his mouth, not shocked- shocked wouldn’t be the right word- but speechless.

“You wouldn’t know what someone dressed as a lawyer looks like Sweetheart.” Wade replies, and after a second where Peter’s heartrate rockets, Matt throws his head back with a laugh. “So, what’s the plan Redthew. Where we going?”

“To the toy shop.”

“Ooh, someone planning on getting kinky for the new year?”

Red snorts. “No. To Peter’s kind of toy shop, not yours.” Peter seems about equally relieved as Wade seems disappointed, and Matt is conveniently thrilled by both reactions. “Peter, where’s the nearest toy shop?”

“Two blocks from here.” He answers, causing both Red and Wade to stop in their steps. “What?” The pair burst out laughing. Neither had expected the teen to know where the nearest toy store was, instead expecting him to look it up on his phone. Peter just grumbles something under his breath even Matt can’t make out. What he can make out is a giant line in front of the toy store when he’s located it. Instead of telling his comrades this, he just lets them have the aggravating shock when they reach the queue.

“A forty five minute wait!” Wade exclaims. “For a toy shop! We’re not at Disney Land! How many people forget to get their kids Christmas presents until new year’s eve?!”

“Christmas eve, Wade.” Peter says. “Christmas eve.”

“Shit, sorry- I forgot the author’s slacking.”

“It’s not always because people forget.” Red says. “They could be too busy to go shopping earlier.” Wade and Peter exchange glances.

“Or they could be dicks and not get you anything at all.” Wade says, softening his voice. Red laughs a little, but it’s not real. “Like you could be if you agree with me that we should dip and just bake your Secret Santa cookies.”

Peter perks up ready for that escape in conversation. “Can we bake cookies anyways?” Matt’s mind decides now is a pretty good time to remember how on Christmas day he and his dad would make cookies, and they’d take them with them when they went carol singing with the church choir. “Please?”

“I, umm…” Matt doesn’t want to make cookies with Peter. Not on Christmas eve. That’s not right. It’s not the same. They’ve had their team Red Christmas, and it was perfect.

“No, Petey, don’t make us bake cookies!” Wade exclaims. “There is literally no point, and none of us can cook. Just steal some of Sam’s cookies for me when you go to the to the party tonight.”

“You were the one who suggested baking cookies!” Peter exclaims.

“Oh honey, that’s only because I didn’t want to wait in the line.” Peter grumbles something, but all Matt can think is ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’.

An hour later, the infamous trio are leaving the shop, Matt’s present in the bag, hidden away from Peter’s prying eyes. “You know I’ll just know it’s yours from the wrapping paper.” Peter says, after asking to look what it is for the five hundredth time as they stand outside Matt’s flat.

Matt cocks his head in the way Peter’s learnt means he’s being glared at. “I’m not going to wrap it in the same paper.”

Wade laughs. “That’s not what he’s worried about. Come on Spidey Widey, you’ve got to get home to Queens and find that tux Tony told you not to get dirty which got blood on it.”

“You said you’d dry clean it.” Peter looks at the man, jaw dropped.

Wade shuffles backwards towards the door. “Let’s not get hung up on what we did and didn’t say.”

“Red, I need a lawyer!” But the pair have already ran out the room, leaving Matt with an hour to kill before needing to be Upstate.

It takes a lot longer than anticipated to wrap his present for Bucky- Matt probably should have considered putting it in a box before wrapping, but it’s too late to go back now. It also takes longer than he thought it would to shave, with his senses being slightly on the fritz due to the excitement his brain reminds him doesn’t exist because he is a fully grown responsible adult.

“You’re late.” Tony scolds him when he walks through the main door, dressed in his black pyjamas. His billy clubs are in his hand, and Matt is almost certain it wouldn’t be a mistake to get them out and convert them back into his cane.

“Happy Christmas.” Red replies, and Tony smiles, returns the greeting, claps the Devil on the back with a feigned amount of confidence, and steers him in the right direction. “And Happy Christmas Friday.”

“Merry Christmas Red.”

“So, who’d you get?” Daredevil decides to ignore the question, and just continue to feel completely out of place in suit at such a childish event. “Ok, present on the side over there. Nat’s in charge of mulled wine if you’d like any, and Clint’s probably with her. Umm… I don’t really know who else you’re friends with here. To be fair, probably everyone but Fury. I’ll let you mingle.” Matt rolls his eyes under the mask, and is just grateful that it’s a purely Avengers party instead of like the Halloween Horror.

A hand taps him on the shoulder. “Hey Red.”

“Spidey.” Red says, and relaxes instantly. “Any chance I can have a little guidance?”

“Sure.” Peter says, and with practiced ease, discreetly leads the blind vigilante to the gift table and into the kitchen. “Happy Christmas.” The pair chorus to the SHIELD spies, hoping to interrupt their arguing. Nat smirks.

“Wasn’t sure you’d come, Red.”

Matt smirks. “I’m the Devil. It’s Christmas. Of course I’d come.” Fury, who Matt sensed walking up behind them, overhears this and swiftly turns around, not bothering to refill his glass. Nat holds up the ladle in offering, and Matt nods. She grabs a plastic cup and pours his drink.

“Have you Seen all the new Christmas lights this year?” Clint asks with a smirk, taking the cup from Nat to give to Matt.

Red accepts the challenge. “Yeah, they’re wonderful. Just as good as the carollers. I’ve Heard they’re going to be performing at the Cathedral this year.”

“Bet they Look as great on stage as they do as at the door.” Matt takes a sip of his drink, and allows Nat to be confused by their conversation. Peter seems just as confused, but then again, he’s just here for fun, not to analyse the hell out of every interaction.

“It’s a Sign.” He takes another drink.

“Brighter lights, Brighter voices, Brighter future?” Clint asks, and Matt cocks his head to the side.

“No, though that’d be nice.” He gives the Daredevillish grin. “The Louder the warning, the less people there are kept in Darkness.”

Nat takes a short breath and Red looks at her. “You’re saying that if Christmas is bigger, there’s less people going to hell.” She seems sceptical. And so’s Matt- Christmas is a time for being thankful, loving, and honest. The size of it doesn’t make him any less of a Devil.

“I’m saying,” he pauses, mind stumbling to get the correct wording, “that the future is a vast and empty Sight, and that if there is nothing here for us to notice, the world could go Blind to the dangers ahead.”

Peter catches onto the game, looks between Clint and Red, and grins. Nat narrows her eyes at the teenager, trying to decipher his face under the mask. “Friday, twenty bucks for precognition to the betting pool.” She says. “Red, stay here with Clint, you’re in charge of drinks. Peter, go and give that ugly Christmas sweater to Tony before he cries that you haven’t got him a present.” Nat walks with Peter, and as soon as she’s out of earshot Clint says:

“She didn’t pick up on it.”

“Not a thing.” The hear no evil, see no evil duo, as they like to call themselves, fist bump. Just as Steve looks over at them. The soldier shakes his head with a smile, and joins everyone else on the sofa. Soon they’re all called together to sit on the couches around mulled wine and lasagne, and Tony stands in front of everyone in front of the table of gifts.

“I’d like to make a toast,” he raises his glass, and everyone follows suit- Red albeit belatedly as he tries to keep a smile off his face, “to all of you, my family. Family isn’t just blood, which collectively we know better than anyone, so sorry for giving that toast you’ve all been making to yourself mentally for the past however many years we’ve been a… fricking dysfunctional friendship group.” That gets a few chuckles. “But what I want to toast to in specific is the future. How we adapt, and evolve, and how we allow our inner circle to grow like with our addition of Daredevil to the Avengers.” Red grits his teeth. “Joking. Unless…”

“In your dreams, Tony.” Everybody laughs, and Red relaxes just a little.

“But we all have our own friends and family as well, and this here, this isn’t the end. We have a future together, and a future with our other families… who I assume we’ll be spending time with tomorrow. Like Clint, Laura and they’re kids, Steve and Agent Carter, and much to Peter’s delight Happy and his Aunt May.” Peter fake gags, causing more laughs. “So, a toast. To the future, and thank you for everyone for coming today.”

Matt can feel Nat’s glare burning holes through the side of his head. Maybe he should’ve been more careful with his phrasing about the future being vast, empty and in darkness. He only meant he would be facing future dangers blind in a very literal sense. But oh well, it’s too late to back out now.

“To the Future.” Everyone drinks, including Peter because Matt lets him take a sip of his drink. This time he gags for real.

“Ok, Happy Christmas to, Nat, Clint, Steve, Me, Peter…” he throws everyone their presents in turn, “and Bucky,” there’s a long pause, and Matt furrows his brows, “Happy Birthday.” Realisation hits him.

So that’s why Wade and Peter liked his paper so much.

Fucking sales people. They really do believe in what they’re selling.

“Admire the effort to keep your identity secret, Red.” Bucky says with a smile, reading they typed name tag. Red smirks, and looks down at his present to pretend to read the label, turning it over to make sure he looks at anything on both sides.

He can still feel Nat staring at him. He knows the present is from Wanda- he can smell her all over the paper, and he knows that inside is some kind of card game… or two. There’s two boxes. To shake off Nat’s stares, he opens the paper. “Aww, cool!” Clint exclaims, looking over Red’s shoulder at the gift. “Charades! And Pictionary! Red, we could totally play these sometime!”

Tony laughs. “Daredevil playing Pictionary- can you imagine?” No. Nope. Matt can very well not imagine Daredevil playing Pictionary. Murdock playing it with the Nelson family, maybe. Red with the Avengers, not a chance.

Peter’s spider sense tingles, and just as Steve, the patriarchal man he is, is just about to ask if they could all play, he loudly thanks the room for his music voucher. Which he makes a show of getting out along with his phone, where he pretends to enter the code but instead texts Mr Nelson an SOS.

“What did everyone else get?” Clint asks, when everyone is waiting on Peter to say more and is confused by his lack of silence. Tony got whiskey, Nat got ballet shoes, Clint got antlers for his dog, Sam got a waffle maker… the list goes on and everybody seems happy with their gifts, Matt’s just waiting for a final judgement from Bucky.

“So… what about charades?” Steve asks. Matt misses his watch.

“What time is it?” He whispers to clint.

“Half ten.” Peter says. But the sound of Bucky’s heart rocketing catches Matt’s attention. “Oh my god. Red, you made Bucky cry.”

“I’m not crying.” The soldier says. That’s a lie. Turns out he doesn’t need super senses to tell as it’s Tony who calls him out on the lie. “Not crying.” He repeats, more firmly, when accused. Matt got Bucky Bop It. “You knew.” Bucky accuses.

Matt smirks. “I always know.” He was fighting some of Clint’s tracksuit mafia one night when Bucky was babysitting and stole Clint’s kids- primarily Clint’s- bop it toy. Laura, was frankly happy to get it out the house. However it didn’t last long when Groot got his hands on it. Where the bop it is, nobody knows, but as far as Clint an his family are concerned, Bucky accidentally broke it.

“How?” Matt’s burner phone rings. He smirks.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Double D, it’s Charm-Mc. Burner-Phone. Gonna need your help with a drug bust, nothing too bad, Frank’s already at the scene.”

Matt growls. “It’s Christmas. I already told Frank not to kill anyone over the festive season.”

“Just be back at the Kitchen now.” And Foggy hangs up. Matt’s Devil side likes that kind of affirmative side of Nelson. He’s like it in court too… that’s part of what makes him such a good lawyer… and such a good friend.

“You gotta go Red?” Bucky asks, and Matt cocks his head. “No time for a game of bop it?”

“No.” He says, and cocks his head to the side. “Yellow car.” He hits everyone, spinning and getting them in the quickest time possible.

“He’s correct.” Friday says. “Happy Christmas, Red. Will we be seeing you for Christmas tomorrow?”

“No.” Matt says, and angles his head so it looks like he’s looking at Tony, but is instead angling all of his emotion to Fury. “Christmas is always a busy day in Hell.”

Matt doesn’t fight crime that night.

He goes back to his flat, and goes to bed in his Deadpool pyjamas, drinks the special travel mug of hot chocolate from Peter, and sits in his bed, listening to music from Logan and learning the moves on the Rubik’s cube from Frank. It’s sappy. He’s reached a new low. But Matt sleeps without waking from nightmares, and is knocking at Foggy and Marci’s flat door at eight o’clock in the morning, armed with gifts.

“Matt?!” Foggy exclaims.

“Happy Christmas Fogs.”

“You didn’t ring me back last night! I thought you were staying upstate!”

Matt throws his head back with a laugh. “Tony gave a toast last night,” he says, putting down his gift bags and folding up his cane, “and he spoke about the importance of family, and who we spend Christmas with. I mean, it was technically about the future and stuff. But I’m sorry Foggy. For breaking the office wall over something trivial, and not spending enough time with you this Christmas. Because you’re my family. If you’re still happy with that.”

Foggy’s speechless.

“F- Foggy?”

“Yes! Matty, you’re family! You’re having a Nelson hug- no arguments.” Foggy engulfs him in a hug, and it takes a second, but Matt relaxes into the hug. “And I didn’t even have to ring you up and ask you to come. This is a big development. I know longer have to take full blame for when you don’t come to family events. My mum has just as much chance to murder you as she does me.”

“Anna loves me.” Matt says, and Marci snorts.

“Anna loves everyone but Foggy. Now Murdock, if you’re going to gate crash our romantic Christmas breakfast, you may as well make yourself useful. Foggy has about ten thousand cousins we’ve not finished wrapping up for. Foggy Bear, get everything organised for Matthew, then come and help me.” Neither move. “Today would be good.”

Both jump to action, squeamish under Marci’s glare. “It’s like college all over again.” Foggy whispers, guiding Matt around a fallen bauble.

“Happy Christmas Fogs.”

“Happy Christmas Matt.”


End file.
